I love some of you all and marketing may be your thing. It’s no problem if it is, but I WILL tell you about how to you can keep connecting with people outside of the Internet. You WILL end up prospecting people that you have met in person, and you will also engage with others til you become colleagues or even friends. It’s your business, but sometimes you’ve got to leave the Internet marketing lingo at the door and mingle.
I’ve been noticing, even from close friends, a trend in talking. I’ve also watched the reactions of the person they were conversing with. The scary thing is that it’s not always people familiar with the business or prospective clients. It’s face-to-face with friends, acquaintances, and family.
Scenario: Two people are talking about something in the technology world, and person A goes from stating their opinion to saying “We all know” or “We’ve been aware” or “We’ve been saying.” Person B is listening and enjoys the opinion, shares their own ideas, but upon hearing the other statements, totally disconnects from the situation.
Why did this happen?
They wonder who are the “we” or is this just all conjecture? They may even think you’re off your rocker, or a little bit of a megalomaniac. However, you can’t just say those phrases. They are false statements as “we” denotes a large group of people that has not specific demographics. In the case of the scenario in this, is it people in the tech community? What are they? How many of them (even percentage-wise) are in on this opinion? Are these people experts in that community? Who?
People aren’t mind readers and specifics are necessary in every day conversation. In marketing copy, this is perfectly acceptable as the person reading knows what is being communicated through words and generally the copy is written well enough to fill in the blanks. In verbal communication, it’s one of those things that people sometimes get those ADD (Attention Deficity Disorder) or “squirrel” moments, so connecting the dots is different.
You have to say who it is- be specific. Including a lot of people in the statement is inaccurate and makes it hard to believe, especially if the person you’re talking to isn’t gullible, especially if your communication boils down to using those broad statements. Some may even want to know what you’re talking about.
With me, sometimes I leave out the who, but I don’t start putting everyone in the same class. It’s more of a speech problem that I’ve had, but I’ve been better about clarifying. So, while I do get asked “who”, there aren’t any statements given that are false. This is probably why I don’t sound like an Internet Marketer. I learned through my dad, and listening to countless cassette tapes from presenters who marketed for places like Amway or Quixtar. While I’m not in that business, I’ve learned that speaking to an individual without the flash and bang of marketing lingo, is sometimes the way to go. It makes you more human and welcoming.
Being an Internet marketer usually puts you behind the screen 24-7. It doesn’t matter if you do webinars or video chat with clients, you still have that impersonal wall between you and the world. When it translates to talking to people, or even presenting to a mass amount of people, it’s a whole different game. You may end up coming off as cold and impersonal even if you are knowledgeable and generally friendly online.
Think about your interactions with people in person. Have you noticed a disconnect when using marketing lingo with some? If not, ask someone to observe you and let you know. You might be surprised.
Excellent points, although I find it very hard to follow, when I begin to write 🙁 My latest, almost failed venture was an attempt to combine IM, review style blog and personal take on a product I actually use and like. But when I begin to write I seem to fall into confines on specific style ….
Hi Nile,
Thanks for these excellent points. All points find helpful and hope these points will help me to increase my working efficiency. 🙂
Yeah, hearing that “we” in a discussion in a way that implies something is true by popular vote of an unknown population is annoying and offensive. It’s designed to marginalize people who disagree with the statement. It can be a useful rhetorical/marketing tool in limited circumstances but it is overused to create a sense of authority through a false consensus. It’s on the short list of conversation pieces that make me reach for the “end call” button on my phone when salespeople call my office.
The only person who can really express an opinion using the word “we” is the Queen of England 🙂 I can’t say I’ve come across it myself but then I’m the only online marketer I know offline – if that makes sense.
Excellent advice Nile!
I’ve caught myself in webinars saying “we all know” and realized I blew it! Whenever I’m writing or speaking now, since I made that awful mistake, it has stuck in my mind.
It is the worst possible thing we can do, especially if we are communicating with people we don’t know well. Yikes! I am sure glad I screwed up because this really stuck in my mind.
-Donna
good post, I have a hard time switching modes when dealing with different dept. heads, Ive slowly tried to warm others in the office to some of the concepts that go with my jargon. But this can both halt communications or help develop an understanding of the ability of those who we work with.
Thanks for sharing a really important point Nile!
Once you’ve been around a certain group for a while, you tend to start to not only develop their
same mindset to a certain degree.
But unfortunately, you tend to develop their group speak as well.
And sense it’s usually so gradual, you’re not totally aware of it, until somebody like you takes the time to point it!
Then it sort of becomes rather obvious! Thanks for sharing this extremely powerful insight! And i’ll definitely try and be more mindful of it!
Good points, Nile. I’m sure people do it without thinking, so getting a friend to listen is a great idea. It isn’t always easy to take that necessary step back and view ourselves objectively. Learning to watch our listeners’ body language is helpful too.
Interesting topic!
I myself experienced using an expression “we” in IM conversation with clients and acquaintances many times. And many of these are just individuals when they were using it. In my opinion it’s just the way to sound more professional, because it’s more persuadable to represent like a company then just one person.
Both of these, real world communication and online one have their special techniques to sound more credible and compelling, and each one needs time to gain these “skills”.
Regards,
Adam
I agree and I’d say it’s not just important offline. It’s also important online not to use jargon or words/phrases that are unfamiliar or confusing for your audience. Being real, human and welcoming is really the key.