As a business owner and someone who rubs elbows with a lot of people, I know I do help, but I also know that once in a while, without realizing it, sometimes meaning well brings more harm than good. Aside from web and graphic design, my passion has been to help people, and sometimes that passion just bulldozes people over without a stopping to listen. It’s not that I’d intentionally trash someone else, but the fact that I didn’t listen, think about the situation, and dig deeper before opening my mouth.
While, my own colleagues and I get along because we respect each other even through disagreements, I didn’t realize – sometimes meaning well may bring more harm than good. In fact, it took talking to a really close friend to bluntly open my eyes on the severity of the situation… a situation where if I did the same to her, then we’d not be talking anymore. THAT is a real eye opener!
In return, I’ve been noticing this a lot with other business owners. It’s always something that isn’t done in spite, but with ignorance about listening more. Communication runs two-ways. Sometimes it’s that you don’t know the person well enough to know that perhaps their introducing concepts for a new product, or perhaps, business aside, having a rough patch, and only needs some words of support. It takes listening to take extra care.
I’ve also found this with total strangers who clearly have a passion for what they do, and want to help. For example, one gentleman decided that he was going to start lecturing me about my social handles, my website, and more. His points, though had some merit, were only based on small amounts of information, nothing deeper. He didn’t know I had been going through family problems with my stepmother’s failing health to know that some of my time in taking care of my site was set aside. He also wasn’t aware that my clients come first… like the old adage “the cobbler’s children have no shoes.” He came across as rude, pushy, and very insulting. He may have not intended to, but because he didn’t listen, he was seen in a poor light by myself and many of my friends, family, and colleagues.
While, I’m sure I’ll probably mess up in the future, I’ve at least realized my own mistake, and will endeavor to do less talking, and more listening. I do like to listen and I do like to talk, but frankly, I can’t be in the spotlight all the time, right?
So, in regards to reflecting on this, I hope that if you’re reading this article, think of times you may have run into situations with others that ran into a major disagreement. Did you really listen? Did you do as they asked? If you haven’t realized this even happening once in your life, you may be missing important people that could be supporting your business and overall personal life today.
Are you listening to your readers, followers, clients, friends, and family?
Hi Nile,
I trust you’re in a good health
I think it’s a great post to increase your traffic, sales and business but I want you to add some more content related to social media marketing website that describe how we can genuinely increase sales or traffic using social websites.
Cheers
Hi Nile.
Sorry to hear about your step Mom’s health related issues.
Hopefully, whatever it involves won’t stress you out too much! That’s always a tough situation, whenever you try to balance work commitments and family and or personal matters etc.
I can definitely appreciate what you’re saying regarding, taking the time to really listen and hear and hopefully fully appreciate what others may be saying and or trying to communicate to us!
I definitely know and realize that it’s an area that I need to improve in. Thanks for sharing your insights. And seems like you really had a not so pleasant run in with the one particular (dare I say) gentlemen.
I hope everything is okay with you now. This was an interesting post. We very rarely ever know the full situation about something and I suppose it is important to recognize that. It is easy to think you are helping, but did that person ask for the help. It is also easy to fall into the trap of making something about yourself when you don’t know everything going on with that person. Thanks for reminding me to really listen and to explore situations more deeply rather than getting upset about things and assuming.
Hi Nile
I think it’s bad form to review a blog without being asked especially just to criticize. I’m sometimes asked to look at sites for new bloggers and the last thing I’d want is to put them off. You can offer positive suggestions for changes without criticism.
I’ve been guilty of being over helpful too. I offered to do something for a blogger who didn’t have the time but ended up making work for her because she had to learn about what I’d done. I feel I put her in an awkward position. It taught me a lesson.
I’m really sorry to hear about your step mum.
It happen many times with me when someone comments on any of my Blog post, and i just moved it to trash without even giving him a reply email.
I hope that whatever the something was the happened to you with the person you know, that it resolved itself OK.
About your social handles and your site, what was Mr Pushy Person was complaining about? Is it something you can share?
I try to be as respectful to strangers as I am to friends and vice versa, and that extends to all aspects of life – business, social, and anything in between. And still things go wrong sometimes. Then I put it down to the mysteries of life.
People say they hate selling. In fact, those are so often the very same people who never stop telling you what’s best for you, what you “should,” “could” and “ought to” do or not do.
I’ve done it, too. We all do. I used to try to convince my parents to eat better, exercise more, breath deeper and all the stuff I knew would make them feel better. Pretty good intention, right? But over time (not too much I hope), I started to realize that they had a right to make their own decisions and live the way they want. I learned to begin the diatribe in my mind with things like… “would you like to hear about why ____ or how ____”. If they declined, I’d back off and let them lead the conversation.
Words are not just about language, they have real impact on those who receive them. Choose them wisely. Make sure they always uplift others. In the alternative (and I very often choose this route)… just listen. It’s the best thing you can (not) say.
I love the post, Nile. We’ve all been word bullies at one time or another. I believe that life is largely about learning to live more through love, less through language.
Sad to hear about your Step mom’s health. I hope she’s fine now.
For me, before deciding any action I ask first to my family or friends if that’s good or not. At the end, you are still the one decide what you think is right but you should weigh it first. Thanks for sharing this article.
Hey,
Sorry to hear about your step mom’s health. Hope everything is better soon.
Good day
Hi Nile,
You are absolutely right that “Listening” is one of the most important aspect for any type of relationship either business or personal.
And it is true for the BOTH the parties…
Most of the cases people make a decision depending on the Qualitative data (Numbers) available for example a brand’s followers, conversion rate etc.
But there is another aspect of “Quantitative” data (Environment, policies, History etc.) which remains hidden under the tag “Personal”, “Confidential”, “Access Restricted”…
So, I believe we all should consider to see both these types of data before making a decision to help other person…
Regards…
Wow! This is very profound information. I guess it goes in hand with the say “no good deed goes unpunished” in a sense.
But I get what you’re saying because I remember there were times in my life where I feel I could have helped in a better way. The main thing is to always make sure your intentions are PURE! 🙂